Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
