You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
