I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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