So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
