Kiss
Puke
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
