i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Randomize
