just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
