I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
