I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I can't turn off my feet"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
