i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
