HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
