I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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