There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize