Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
