So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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