I can tuck mytits in my pants
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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