thus making me awesome and them whores
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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