I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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