also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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