Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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