K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
so much tequila, so little girl.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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