Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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