I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
