do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
