R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
