He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
