Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
