I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
