Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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