Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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