Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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