oh god the rape fog is back!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
NoShamevember. You game?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
