My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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