How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We had to coat check the pizza.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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