at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize