thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
