69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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