Fuck appropriateness.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
