I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
