i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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