they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
