if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
