If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
