She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
