Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
