I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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