Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
