Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
