We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
