He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
