Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
jump out the window naked night went bad
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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