You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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