Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
