i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
