dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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