I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
