the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
