that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
