The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
