Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
