When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize