Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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