Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
