I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so that wasnt chicken after all
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
